The Year That Was...

Have you ever experienced a high fall ride - where one yells on top his voice wishing it ends soon and at the same time enjoys the feeling of butterflies in his tummy?
Year 2014 was similar to such a joy ride.

The joy of moving back home and the trial of leaving a city which taught me how to love - life, work and myself.  It was a year that changed me in unknown ways. It made me believe that affection from family and close friends only grows with time. It taught me that there is power in NOWness and that past will always be a visiting guest. Yet it assured me that I can move on and achieve things I never thought existed. Such was this year - marked with lovable dilemma's.
2014 has been a great year and I am thankful for everything (if not all)!

Thank you for introducing me to some cool mentors and revolutionary think tanks.
I am still coping with the shockers!

Sleep is a luxury! If you are getting enough sleep, you are definitely going wrong somewhere.
Thank you 2014, for teaching me this mantra. The following quote sums it up so well -
 "If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?" (Credits - Pravin Suralkar)

Some close friends drifted apart this year and once unknown faces became dear ones.

Thank you for making me realize that I can never ever know it all and that unlearning is also a form a learning.

Maturity is only a matter of opinion and not a matter of time. 2015, will you no grow up?!

This year I learnt Economics (and adored the way in which it lovingly presented my illiteracy graph to me). Thank You 2014. Period.

ECONOMICS IS YOUR SUBJECT IF YOU THINK ECONOMIES OF SCALE WHEN YOU SEE THIS!

Finally at end to the blog with the hope that new year will bring new challenges to entail and new journeys to talk about.

  My new year resolution is to remember and write 2015 instead of 2014. 

Auf Wiedersehen 2014!

Let the party begin!

The Math of LOVE

"She thoughtlessly walked on the sands of today, leaving behind footprints of memory and then one day she banished into the waves"

They say Love is Beautiful. But what they don't tell us is the not-so-beautiful experience love leaves behind, when it departs. It tricks us to believe that someone can mean the world to us, making us leave our world aside. It makes us kneel, fall and skip heartbeats in its presence. It makes us count the moments spent together and create a host of memories which are not only difficult to let go but also difficult to relive with someone else.  And whenever this kind of Love leaves, be it after years, weeks or days, we are relentlessly destroyed for the other someone who can or will, be.

So can Love really be measured?
We measure love by the time spent together and by the time we cannot spend apart, the number of missed calls left unanswered and the number of minutes between each text message, the number of weeks before it is made ‘official’ to the number of months before it is called off.  We get easily caught up in the mechanics of love that we too often forget its quiet, indisputable now-ness. Isn't life already too scheduled to measure the intensity of emotions, leave alone Love.

The degree of hurt when the person in subject depends entirely on the degree of vacuum left behind by the person. Now how can one fill this void and to what extent? Like at times we might get the math wrong, the same can happen to Love.  And like in math when we get too messed up with the calculations, it's best to wipe it all off and start again, with the same variables, on a new page. Its best to start afresh!

As Samuel Leighton-Dore  quotes it best:
“ We need to harbor our love as though nobody in history has ever experienced a thing like it - as if there were no rules, no guidelines - no hints, tricks or clues. We need to harbor it as if there was no time - as if there were no numbers, and even if there were, they wouldn't even matter. To the world your love might be irrelevant and perhaps so, it must be. “

While most of us would disagree I take the liberty to say that Love, simply put, isn't numeric. There is no ideal way to measure it, or to sum it up. What love must teach us is to lead our life with someone, to accept there is some place empty that needs to be filled with care. But it should definitely not imply living someone’s life, like our own. Love which makes you forget yourself is no love at all. Love must make us, better versions of ourselves. And remind ourselves that we ARE capable of love and not merely crippled by it.

Because I said so!

After a month of abstinence from the blog, having faced the darkest unseen facets of self through interviews (as M.B.A admission season is at it's peak) and turning Candy Crush - the colorful Facebook game into my favorite pass-time; here I am again to write about something I recently experienced. Now that I look back on all the interviews I realize that even though the interviewers hailed from different age groups and from diverse industry backgrounds, yet each of them unanimously loved the question -
'Tell us, why should we admit you into our prestigious institute?'
To that question, every time I had an internal fight not to blurt out the response -
'Because I said so!' Like duh, isn't all my academic-life history good enough for you. Oh come on!

We may detest to admit it, but we all have experienced that one weak moment when we've ridiculously crushed our gut feeling and went ahead with the lot. Why? Because it was said so! We decided to take up a job because that's what most people did after graduation. Some secured a campus placement, while others relentlessly dropped applications on job portals. Got married at 25 because we have a society to answer and eh isn't that the right age to get hitched?  Chose to disown or rather compromise on career choices because, girl you gotta make that marriage work. What will others think? Have you ever given up on something, because at some point it sounded crazy trying to even explain it to others?

                               

For most part of our life we are taught to follow the rules. Rules laid by our parents - come home before the deadline or else you're grounded, spend wisely, so on and so forth.Rules laid by our university of the curriculum, assignments, projects and examination. We are taught to think within the boundaries laid by the society - the other people. And most of the times, if not all, we follow the rules and create that most suited life for ourselves. A life that lets us fit in the crowd. A life that makes us an undistinguished part of the whole. Then one day, when we're about to face a life changing interview, the interviewer insists on 'out-of-the-box' thinking. He demands an explanation on what makes you unique - stand apart, from thousand other applicants, he has grilled throughout the day.

And that's when life offers a wake-up call - what have you done differently all your life?

Are you happy in that high-profile job or that years-old relationship?

Today are you exactly where you wanted to be 5 years back?
Questions will never cease but you can choose to answer a few of them, right now. Real need of the hour is to question everything! To question the rules of the game called Life and to make your own.
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion with out the discomfort of thought.
Not all questions are worthy of an answer.
Choose your questions wisely; the answers will never go wrong.

P.S - I play Candy Crush and still have a life. Go ahead and hate me all you want.

It's My Best Friend's Birthday!

Tatiana and Me when life was yet to begin, but our friendship already had.
(I still don't remember where this one was clicked!)

We first became friends.

Then over time (through all those weird life hacks)

now we're friends-for-life. 

It seems just like yesterday when we used to have hour-long phone calls and kept our parents wondering about the even longer phone bills that followed.

All those memories remain safe in the pages of my dairy and in the letters we wrote each other.

You were and will always be my go-to person.

All the important decisions in life are incomplete without YOU.

What a relief it is to find somebody who understands without words and loves with out a reason.

On this special day I thank god for giving me a friend, who is more than a friend.

I am lucky to have you.

Loads of Love,

Aakanksha Varude

This Blog Has NO Title

Recently I asked my closest friends whether they did read my Blogs.
With excitement and fervour that only best friends would show, they readily agreed and complimented me on my blog posts. Unexpectedly one of them who is very hard to impress complimented me too. That coming from him was a rare sight! And there he was complementing me, saying that I did write really very well, expressing sound emotions with almost apt words and alacrity. That moment right there, felt so nice. I was so happy and smiled from ear to ear (my usual reaction to compliments, as I have no idea what else to say). And just then as I was about to give him a big teddy-bear hug for all his kind words, he took the liberty to add this, very casually,
'But, listen since you asked I must tell you that I don't like the titles that you use.'

Err..yeah right dude! I get it. Thanks. I tried to show that I was totally un-fazed by his comment.
He liked my blogs, the way I write but not my blog Titles. Now what was that supposed to mean?
My mind had taken a U-turn. I wanted to ponder on all the topics that I had written till date, but I did not.
Instead I thought of writing a blog that runs the course with the reader's thoughts, like a flowing river, freely.
A blog that starts with NO Title. NO specific direction but ONE - to make this blog your own.

Many a times, in life we are subjected to questions like, 'What have you thought about your future?' (aagey ka kya socha hai?) or an interview is never complete without the epic question :
'Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?'
Now before you answer that question...wait...take a deep breath and answer this question first -
What did you think of yourself 5 years ago? Today, are you even close to what you'd imagined yourself to be?

We blame it on human tendency to think of 'bright' future prospects. We think it's OKAY to contemplate of all the good (we assume) that might happen in future. There are people who chalk out their course beforehand. The happy tripper's who know where they are going right from the beginning. And then there are the rest, who find their course as they thread on the path of their dreams. Like this blog, without a title, they believe that shackles of  a pref-fixed course will bound their view. They are willing to experiment and let the way lead them to something extraordinary. They are willing to take risks that way.
They know the difference between playing around and trying out things differently.
The ones who are willing to change build a future and not wait for it to unfold.

All our lives we strive to attain a TITLE that defines our lives for us. The credentials that stand proudly before our names, are but titles that help us attain familiarity in the society. What they fail to do, is convey our stories to that same society. The stories of hard work, of sweats and of achievements that are far more better and interesting than those mere titles. Two people can share the same degrees, stature and  monetary pleasures, but it is their story that will set them apart from each other. With this blog, I urge you to put some thought behind YOUR own story and to turn it into a tale to tell.

On that Note, I dare you to do things differently.
To surprise yourself by doing things you had never once thought of doing.

With this blog, I dare you NOT to think... Just Do It!!

Only Change is Constant

She woke up before the morning sunlight could softly touch her face. She rubbed her eyes off the turbulent sleep she was in, dreaming of him and sighed at the thought of getting ready for work. Another day of putting on a smile and facing the world, while she dealt with pain inside. She was aware that things needed to change and so did life. She wanted to move ahead but couldn't, as the only thing that pulled her two steps behind, was him. His memories and his touch. Moving forward just seemed impossible to her. Thoughts of solitary haunted her. She took a deep breath as she watched herself intently in the mirror. It reflected her image with all the broken pieces, shouting loud and clear that fear of change is a feeling, a feeling that only she could change. 

So why is it that we resist change? Is deciding to change something, enough to bring in the right attitude towards change or are we missing something here?

"When we are dumped into change, our favorite strategy is to try to recover our lives as quickly as possible."

Today, I beg you to think of change more positively. When we say “This is a game changer,” that connotes something good and positive. And yes, it’s okay to “change” your mind.
– Allan Karl, WorldRiderwww.allankarl.com

If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image and a false promise. Maybe you don't actually want it at all.

You have to choose something. You can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be roses and unicorns. Because if you have to choose, choose how you are willing to suffer.
Because that's the hard question that matters. Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have the same answer.
The more interesting question is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain?
That answer will actually get you somewhere. It's the question that can change your life. It's what makes me me and you you. It's what defines us and separates us and ultimately brings us together.

So what's it going to be? Think about it...

Now that you have your choice, you know you'll need to kick some a** but you don't know how? Here is what you need to do:
https://medium.com/life-learning/2a1841f1335d

Turning 25 and all that buzz!

I was asked to close my eyes, and walk into the room on the count of three. T-a-d-a surprise! I was greeted with rose petals falling from heaven (yeah...it was the ceiling fan actually, but who cares, I am 25 and dramatic in a way). And that my friends is how I walked into another spectacular year of living, that's how I turned 25 in a dreamy way. Now that I am officially allowed to begin my quarter-life crisis, I wish to compile a list of 25 reminders that will help me find myself again, whenever I tend to loose my mind.

                                             

1. Now that I am 25,

 I promise to stop asking kids for life changing ideas. 

2. I vouch to calculate better and faster.
Try me when I'm sober and you will know.

3. Seriously, read that one again. Save that dime girl!

4. I will take my own decisions without
 turning to Google for any expert advice.

5. I am proud to be myself and will always be - Flawed and Fabulous.

6. I will rise above the past and will try to
 believe not only in fairy-tales but also in love stories.

7. I will give myself a second chance.

8. Read that again.

9. I will devote more time to people and not apps.
 I will not take anything for granted, not even myself.

10. Reality is for people who lack imagination.
 I choose to believe in dreams.

11. I want to fall in love again. First with myself
and then with someone who loves me with my imperfections, perfectly.

12. And as much as I would like to continue (we are not proceeding to 25),
 I am sure we all need to break the rules (be lazy time and again)
and expect the unexpected.

I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. – Joseph Campbell 

At this point in my life, I am doing what I like doing rather than being buried under the expectations of what I should be doing. This I think is way more important. I have hobbies that keep my mind busy, and my oldest friends are still my oldest and bestest friends. I think right now, for me, 25 is less of a scary age and more of a 'I'm going in the right direction' age, which is nice. And, as opposed to when I was 22- when my career was king and to hell with the rest - I now have everything in perspective, and know what is really important to me. I am more confident now than I was before and I can now watch horror movies without horrifying others (in my defence I have toned down a bit on that part, if I haven't stopped completely). Now the things that make me happy most of the time are a cup of coffee and a book in my pyjamas. Each to their own. So, anyway, yes, despite of being known to smile far more than I should  and startling people around me, I'm pleased to be where I am and who I am, around people I am with. Oh and some advice for those younger than my withered self - laugh at yourself more. Life ain't worth a damn if you can't find the hilarity in your own photo ID'ed self when the cashier looks at you like you're a grandmother/father to three young girls. Hardy har har, my god I'm old...