Are you afraid of the TALK?

  What is that one thing, you feel most helpless about?

If you ask me, I am my most shy, whenever I have to tell someone how much they mean to me. Sometimes hoping to be a mind reader, so that I can carefully plan to talk-it-out at the right time. But, uncertainty of events has taught me that it's the best unsaid when expected.
Depending on the circumstances, our fantasies can sometimes take face of our fears; becoming the unpleasant figments of our imaginations. These seemingly real, yet completely fictional occurrences take shape within the recesses of our minds. What they do is simply expose us to a life of what ifs and maybes. Out of the many fears and phobias, the most astonishing is the fear of confrontation. We can choose to deny it, underestimate it or ignore it entirely, but after all that's said and done, all we're doing is merely confirming that it exists.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to think about but takes you no where.

The reason why our fears have a tendency to become overwhelming and confronting is a simple lack of understanding. Whatever we fail to understand, we also fail to acknowledge, and therefore fail to comprehend the impact it can have on our reality.

There is a universal law that says that nature abhors a vacuum. What that means is that as soon as you give up one thing, another comes in to fill the void. And most often the new thing is better than the old thing you gave up.

- The above quote is out of the book Born Rich and is a positive affirmation.

As you take the first step on talking-it-out, first odd thing which we mostly miss to do is to give up all the old beliefs. Approach the person with an open mind much like the empty cup which can be filled. The other person might or not be a changed person, for better or worse, but that in no way should affect the new YOU. And you do it by repeating the positive affirmation above. Once all the unanswered questions, are answered, you do yourself a favour by gifting yourself a new magnificent and almost perfect you.

You can bring the change you want to see, only by believing that things can work out.
Think about it...

♥ We like to Party ♥

With the party season kicking in, we're all geared up to celebrate in our own unique ways.

This blog is more of a compilation, a handy almanac which will plea your conscience to mind its business, while you party-it-out. These are bits and tips gathered from friends, observations and yes, googling skills (which come in handy all the time to decide on that one party place to rock and how). So let's put our best foot forward:

Inform Someone of your Whereabouts

Always let someone know - who you are going with and what your itinerary is. Even if you are going to party with a familiar group, this activity will ensure that someone trustworthy has your back.

Be Proud of the Singles' Table
If sinking down at the singles’ table fills you with anxiety and dread, just look at all those couples not talking to each other. Plus, how often do you sit down to dinner with a bevy of eligible men or single women (Or may be great new friends)?
And no, this doesn't mean you can play with your phone. You can send out your Facebook/Twitter friend-requests later.

Know Your Limits
People are attracted to energy and confidence, but take it too far and you’ll repel rather than attract.

Find your Confidence

Aim for classy over brassy.  Anyone can be the loudest, brashest, raunchiest person at a party if they put their mind to it. The real question is: Why? There are far more alluring, subtle and mesmerizing ways to be the centre of attention than yelling and dressing like a tramp.

Dress up
Lingerie/Brief vest is for under the clothes. Don't be a cheap fashion victim; unless you're a runway model or pop star, don't try and pull this look off. If you're dancing, you need to be able to move. Tight clothing is simply constricting and will cause you to want to stand to the side all evening, how dull! Wear clothes that move when you do. That one provocative garment is enough.

Foot Wear
Yes dear party animals, appropriate footwear is required apparel for the party in all public places except the swimming pool, beach and spa. Unless you're in one of those places, keep the footwear on to avoid cuts from glass and sharps, while someone else treading on your foot with their boots will be indescribably unpleasant.  

     

Know how to Hold Your Booze
This is where, most of the eligible men and women in the party, loose their plot.
A social drink is fine; a social drunk is not.  And remember, everyone has a camera these days, and some know how to use it right. Make sure the shots they get are all worthy.

For social drinks in moderation, learn to pace yourself and intersperse them with plenty of non-alcoholic choices. Know when to stop (at your limits) and know when to say NO.
Being a little tipsy is fine provided you're still in control; anything past that is unacceptable. Learn to dump shots or drink half shots.

Consider the Alternatives
Instead of alcohol, drink up those energy drinks! Red Bull, Full Throttle, Monster, etc., are a perfect substitute for alcohol. Such drinks can give you energy, don't cause hangovers, and you're still going to be aware of what you're doing.  Mix them up with plenty of water in between, especially since both energy drinks and alcohol are calorie-laden.

Always keep an Eye on every Beverage you Drink
Do not drink from communal containers, such as punch bowls. Once you lose sight of your drink, do not consume it any more.  A substance could be added to your beverage during your absence, so get another drink.  If someone offers to buy you a drink, watch the bartender prepare it and only accept the drink from the bartender. Keep it with you always (even to the restroom).

Do not give out Personal Information
Such as your location or your daily schedule online. Do not allow new acquaintances to know you are alone at an event or that you live by yourself.

Do not push Personal Boundaries

"No" does not mean "yes, if you pressure someone long enough". If a person turns you down for either a date or sexual activity, do not continue to press the issue. An individual has the right to end sexual activity, even if they have previously or are currently involved in sexual behavior with you. If you feel uncomfortable during a date, but have no transportation, call a cab.

Don’t make a Big Deal about being Sober
Don’t lead by telling someone you’re not drinking. If you’re put in a position where someone is literally putting a shot down your throat, say you’re driving later, or you've already had way too much. Being sober doesn't mean you have to sit out on the fun. Get involved.
Opting out only draws attention to yourself in a negative way.

Don’t be a Babysitter
Being the sober one at the party doesn't mean you’re obligated to keep tabs on everyone else’s alcohol consumption. If your friends can’t hold their shit together, it’s not your problem. You’re out to have fun for yourself. Never make the mistake of treating sobriety like a chore.

Exit Gracefully
Ready to duck out? Make another quick round and tell the people you hung out with most that, “It was so nice talking with you!”
It doesn't have to be a big to-do. You don’t have to say where you’re going or why you’re going, just give a handshake and show that you genuinely enjoyed somebody’s company - maybe they’ll offer to hang out again soon.

Spoiler Alert: These rules work best when followed. It isn't called the ‘silly season’ for nothing.

Have you come across any other situations other than these? Post your views.

Remember: Life is a party and you are invited.

It's NOT on the cards yet!

"When are you planning to get married? Are you dating someone already?"

These are few of the many questions, which are hurled at you, when your mid 20's clock starts ticking. These statements sound more like buzzing alarms than mere questions.
No one cares if you have just emerged triumphant fighting with your inner demons or if you are taming puny insecurities like managing the last few days of the month on just say, few glasses of water and a pack of Maggi (noodles).

These questions are most likely asked by the people of your own clan, whom you might have met only during those plush family weddings while having a mouthful of Gulabjamun's (a sweet Indian delicacy) or by one of your friends, who recently got married to his/her childhood sweetheart or by others who are set on a  "find your perfect match" spree, looking out for Mr.Right or Ms. Perfect, for you. Then of course, there are your parents, who think of 'your' marriage as 'their' sole responsibility, because their so called grown-up kid is still single and unable to mingle. The stakes are high, that you might end up with a petite marriage proposal. All of them, will assure you that you are at the right age to be married. And not thinking about it is so uncool, that you might just end up spending your entire life alone. Holy Cow!

"Don't you know there are several complications during pregnancy, if a girl conceives in her 30's? Our lifestyles have become so stressful these days!", said one of my elite friends almost frantically.

Me: Uh,No! I am not aware of the complications. But c'mon don't you think that we have better technology now, as compared to stone age? Better facilities. Better....
Friend: *interrupting me* Go Google sweety. You have no idea what you are talking about!
Me: *awkward silence*

Let me confess here, that I did try to Google about "those" kind of problems that trouble women in late 20's and 30's but to my friend's remorse, I instead took pleasure in reading about all the the best places that I could visit before I die, than worrying about my future kids. That's when I came across a blog "Frankly, right now, I’m having the time of my life" written by Joy Chen. In her blog she says:

"If you think that getting safely married will suddenly make you official and let you into the club of legitimate achievers, then unfortunately, I have bad news. Public scrutiny will turn to whether you’re giving enough care to your man/woman. Love is profound. Marriage is not. Anyone can get married at any time. Marriage is just another human relationship that one can enter or exit at will. We all need security. But the only security that’s lasting is the security you find within yourself. Autonomy is the basis for intimacy. Don’t wait to find someone. You are someone. Now I wish I could hit the REWIND button on my life, march back into all those media interviews and all those dinner parties, and, when asked “Why aren't you married yet,” look them in the eye, smile, and say “Because, frankly, right now, I’m having the time of my life.”

Marriage is becoming more of a social status; a necessity, to claim your reputation based on your partner's. Do you think that's fair? I am definitely not against marriage, but it is this social stigma that bothers me. Whether you are single or committed, you'll sure have some things in your life, which are worth the time, the wait, the pain, the frustration, the extra effort and that extra smile. And these are THE things that should find place in your Bucket List, right above marriage. These things should be on priority. Doing something crazy is easy but being able to claim the after effects of it heads on, adds that extra zing to your life which your married/committed friends will never be able to do 'alone'. It’s important to remember that when the going gets tough, with anything whether it be work-related, while in a relationship, family matters, etc., it is important to be true to yourself. First step to lend security to that special person in your life is by first feeling secure, content and revered of your current self.  

Swallow your pride ladies and gentlemen: You get what you give, not what you think you deserve. Life is one big gamble. Are you ready to play the bait? 

Tell me what you think..!!

 

Make a choice while it's Legal

(Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

And then God said "Go ahead! Pick your choice. That's how you will learn how to pray!"

We are progressing towards a future of vulnerable existence. In today's media frenzy lifestyle, we are judged not on what we really are, but on the basis of how we portray ourselves on our social media profiles. Our profiles have become a handbook, where we reveal our authentic selves and allow others to have a first look of our Thoughts, Temperaments, Opinions and most importantly our Choices. With the joy of acceptance, there is an underlying possibility of being misunderstood, labelled, or worst of all, being rejected. This fear of rejection can be so powerful that some tend to wear it like an armour. In exception to life choices of birth and death, we ought to make choices that mend our lives from time to time. Our choices are what we are.

And we are what we repeatedly do. Some of us can choose to blame circumstances on fate or bad luck. But, only a mighty few will admit that, it's mainly the choices they have made. Sense of achievement and failure hence becomes subjective to every individual. All of us are living a new struggle every day. Some struggles are indisputable and others are air blown kisses from karma (the bitch!) but the essence remains similar. So, how do we snap out of it? Ignorance was bliss but not anymore. It is time we look beyond that. It is easy to Whatsapp or *add the name the messaging app you frequently use* but difficult to call the person. It is easy to comment or like the status updates but difficult to provide a shoulder before the tear of happiness descends. 

Think about it.

Choose your ways of expressing wisely, before they make it illegal.

Do the right thing today, because tomorrow is a not a luxury and present will soon be past.